“Daddy, why is the sky blue?” “Mummy, where does the sun go at night?” And then suddenly, like a bolt from the blue – “Mummy, where do babies come from?” This question usually leaves parents squirming with embarrassment and trying to pass the buck to the other parent. Teaching children the facts of life, telling them about the birds and the bees, is something that most parents are not very comfortable with. Actually, this is a very narrow view of sex education. It is not just about having an embarrassing, private talk with your child or giving them a book or their being given a lecture in school complete with diagrams. Sex does not begin and end with intercourse. Intercourse could be said to be the most intimate way in which men and women relate to each other. However, it is merely one aspect of the relationship between men and women. In fact, children are learning about sexuality from the time they can spot the difference between boys and girls. They also get cues from the different ways in which parents relate to sons and daughters and the way in which parents interact with each other. Thus, children whose parents have a bad marriage will find it very difficult to contemplate that sexual intercourse is built on love and mutual respect.
“Where do babies come from?”
Parents can expect the ‘dreaded’ question about the origins of babies around the age of three. The question stems from natural curiosity. Parents should keep in mind that a three-year-old’s level of understanding is quite simplistic. The child is too young to understand the concept of sexuality literotica. The child will probably be satisfied if the mother says that the baby grows in a special place in her body called the uterus or womb and comes out after nine months. The next question is probably going to be – “How did the baby get in?” The only way a child is aware of about how things get in is through eating. Thus, a simple answer explaining that the baby grows from a tiny seed implanted in the uterus should suffice. If children want to know the father’s role in the process, mothers can explain that the father put the seed inside the mother. As for how the babies get out, children can be told that once the baby has grown enough inside the mother it comes out from a special opening called the vagina. It may be a good idea to specify that this opening is different from those for urination and defecation.
Sex education is something that happens in stages. A three-year-old child might be satisfied when he is simply told that the father provides the seed that grows into a baby. However, by the time he is five, he might want to know how exactly it got there. Here again, parents should remember to keep it simple. After all, he is only five. Explain to him that the seed comes out of the father’s penis and is deposited in the uterus where the baby will grow for the next nine months.
Some children don’t bring up the topic at all. Parents of such children assume that their children are particularly innocent. But in all likelihood, parents of these children have made them feel, probably unintentionally, that the question of how babies are made is somehow taboo and not open to discussion. Such parents should keep their ears open for indirect questions, hints and jokes that indicate that the child is curious but afraid to ask a direct question. For instance, a little boy may constantly poke fun at his pregnant mother saying that she is fat or a little girl may ask her mother how their dog had puppies. Parents should realize that their children are diffident about asking them questions directly and seize these opportunities to explain a little bit about human reproduction.
Some parents prefer fiction to fact when discussing sex with their children. A common euphemism used by parents is that a stork or an angel brought the baby. Such stories tend to backfire because the child can see the evidence of the baby growing in his mother’s stomach every day. The child immediately senses that his parents are being evasive about the issue and he is bound to find out the truth sooner or later. Parents are in danger of losing his trust because he is not sure when they might chose to lie or tell him half-truths again. In addition, the question of how babies are made acquires considerable significance highlighted by the parent’s nervous and sheepish approach. He gets the message that the topic is something to be embarrassed about. Another outcome of this approach is that the child may hesitate to discuss things that bother him with his parents in the future because he is not sure of the response he will get.